i never thought i'd enjoy watching superman without christopher reeve. i was wrong. last night, i had a date with superman and i simply love him in the person of brendan routh.
gosh...i love his eyes. they reminded me of someone i know. truly, his eyes are so similar to those of this one special person in my life who will forever remain nameless but is instrumental in making me dream the kind of dreams i have today!!!
i told my friends that i will buy a dvd copy of the movie and i will. waaa...if only i could be lois lane for a day, then i will never mind the existence of many lex luthors in this universe! swear.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
one goodbye, one hello
as i said goodbye to a seven-year old relationship, i reopened my doors to old friends. two days ago, i met clarence again at his sister’s beautiful wedding in posh ayala alabang’s st. james the great chapel. it was a heartwarming reunion as we have never seen each other in a long time already. sure, we have been each other’s regular telephone callers, but seeing each other was entirely different from listening to each other’s voice.
i was actually late for the ceremony so i sat at the back. when i saw their family’s long-time helper, openg, i approached her while the newlyweds were having their pictures taken at the altar. then openg suddenly blurted, “hulaan mo kung sinong guwapo ang palapit.” (“guess, who’s this good-looking guy walking towards us.”) of course, it was clarence.
clarence and i actually go a long, long way back when we were just kindergarten pupils in the province. extremely attractive and intelligent, he was our school’s most qualified ambassador to manila’s san beda college where he spent his high school, college and law years.
today, clarence -- a certified playboy cum lawyer -- has been through life's highs and lows. i have witnessed his struggles as a young man trying to make a niche in this world because at some point in our life, we had been each other’s confidant.
in tokyo, he was my constant link to our province and to old friends back home. we would spend hours on the phone talking about practically everything under the sun. of course, there were times when circumstances would challenge the friendship but we generally sailed through our respective life happily and smoothly.
the beauty of saying goodbye is the prospect of saying hello again to new and old friends. clarence will always be special to me, just as aleli and connie -- my bestfriends -- are. in all honesty, i know that i am one of the very, very few people who can understand how he ticks. he welcomed me into his life and allowed me to take a peek into his mind and heart.
when his hand accidentally brushed mine, i felt some kind of familiarity…some sort of understanding that despite the years and the tears in between, we have remained truly good friends. it was a gesture that was borne out of being comfortable in each other’s presence.
in my super-symbolic life, i bequeathed to him part of my tokyo education by giving him the only sophia university teeshirt omiyage i ever bought – something which he really didn’t know. ultimately, it was a symbol of a reliable friendship that has survived the test of time.
i was actually late for the ceremony so i sat at the back. when i saw their family’s long-time helper, openg, i approached her while the newlyweds were having their pictures taken at the altar. then openg suddenly blurted, “hulaan mo kung sinong guwapo ang palapit.” (“guess, who’s this good-looking guy walking towards us.”) of course, it was clarence.
clarence and i actually go a long, long way back when we were just kindergarten pupils in the province. extremely attractive and intelligent, he was our school’s most qualified ambassador to manila’s san beda college where he spent his high school, college and law years.
today, clarence -- a certified playboy cum lawyer -- has been through life's highs and lows. i have witnessed his struggles as a young man trying to make a niche in this world because at some point in our life, we had been each other’s confidant.
in tokyo, he was my constant link to our province and to old friends back home. we would spend hours on the phone talking about practically everything under the sun. of course, there were times when circumstances would challenge the friendship but we generally sailed through our respective life happily and smoothly.
the beauty of saying goodbye is the prospect of saying hello again to new and old friends. clarence will always be special to me, just as aleli and connie -- my bestfriends -- are. in all honesty, i know that i am one of the very, very few people who can understand how he ticks. he welcomed me into his life and allowed me to take a peek into his mind and heart.
when his hand accidentally brushed mine, i felt some kind of familiarity…some sort of understanding that despite the years and the tears in between, we have remained truly good friends. it was a gesture that was borne out of being comfortable in each other’s presence.
in my super-symbolic life, i bequeathed to him part of my tokyo education by giving him the only sophia university teeshirt omiyage i ever bought – something which he really didn’t know. ultimately, it was a symbol of a reliable friendship that has survived the test of time.
Monday, June 26, 2006
Taking things for granted
For the longest time, I do not think of Japan – the country that took care of me for more than two years. Just recently, however, I find myself longing for everything that is Japanese. I find this weird because when I was living in Tokyo, I took everything for granted.
I miss Barno – the Uzbek who stood by me through thick and thin. I know I could never have chosen a better roommate. I miss her sweet smile that reassured me everything was going to be alright. Heck, yesterday when my brother complained about feeling ill, I readily prepared the chicken soup that she taught me to cook. I suddenly found myself in tears. I never knew I would miss her this much. Younger than me by five years, she was nevertheless mature for her age. She taught me a lot of things – mostly positive ones. Of course, this is apart from the lessons on russian communism and genghis khan's reign over the asian peninsula that she would intermittently hold. I remember admiring her inner strength in the face of her personal problems. I also fondly recall how she would put make-up on my face; complaining even of my disinterest on things that a woman uses on her face. I miss her so much it’s painful. At this point when I am teetering between happiness and sadness, I miss her laughter and the way she would assure me that things would eventually turn out right. If only Uzbekistan is near….
I miss our apartment in Kodaira City. I miss the coziness of my room…the place that gave me solace and sanctuary in my stay in Tokyo. I remember spending most of my time reading tons of books and watching hundreds of movies inside my tatami room. I even miss watching those Japanese melodrama on television. Oh how I love the smell of my tatami floor! I miss my futon…I miss our huge kitchen. God, I miss even our automatic washing machine. When I was still living there, I would always look forward to going home from school. Our apartment always beckoned. It’s warm and cozy and simply beautiful…despite being peppered with stuff from Y100 shops.
I miss using my bicycle. In Tokyo, riding the bike is a way of life. It is a way of life that I so dearly miss. I did bring my bicycle to manila but since its arrival, it has been kept in my storage room upstairs. I haven’t been able to use it for fear of being side-swept by a motor vehicle with an unscrupulous driver. I vividly remember boring afternoons that would find me riding my bike around my peaceful and beautiful neighborhood. In a fit of adventurism, I would even bike for nearly three hours, leisurely spanning 20 kilometers in a day. I would do this especially during spring when the sweet and fresh smell of leaves and trees and flowers is permeating the air. Hmmm….I miss my biking days.
I miss salmon. A self-confessed seafood addict, the first thing that I missed when I came home is the cheap slices of salmon in Japan. My God, Yoshinoya there served the cheapest but yummiest salmon steak I have ever tasted in my life. I remember Barno would often request that I cook salmon and shrimp sinigang which she really craved a lot. I would usually indulge her during cold days when I needed something to warm me up inside. But Barno loved cold sinigang. Our perennial dispute was whether to reheat or refrigerate the soup of the sinigang. I loved it hot, she loved it cold. Oh…but those were the good ol’ days.
These really are just of the very few things I took for granted because they had become a way of life for two years. It is only now that I feel so far away from these beautiful things that I realize how special they had been. Then again, I know one day I’ll be able to experience them again.
Japan, I definitely will go back to your arms…if only to temporarily rekindle the embers that have been slightly diminished by time.
I miss Barno – the Uzbek who stood by me through thick and thin. I know I could never have chosen a better roommate. I miss her sweet smile that reassured me everything was going to be alright. Heck, yesterday when my brother complained about feeling ill, I readily prepared the chicken soup that she taught me to cook. I suddenly found myself in tears. I never knew I would miss her this much. Younger than me by five years, she was nevertheless mature for her age. She taught me a lot of things – mostly positive ones. Of course, this is apart from the lessons on russian communism and genghis khan's reign over the asian peninsula that she would intermittently hold. I remember admiring her inner strength in the face of her personal problems. I also fondly recall how she would put make-up on my face; complaining even of my disinterest on things that a woman uses on her face. I miss her so much it’s painful. At this point when I am teetering between happiness and sadness, I miss her laughter and the way she would assure me that things would eventually turn out right. If only Uzbekistan is near….
I miss our apartment in Kodaira City. I miss the coziness of my room…the place that gave me solace and sanctuary in my stay in Tokyo. I remember spending most of my time reading tons of books and watching hundreds of movies inside my tatami room. I even miss watching those Japanese melodrama on television. Oh how I love the smell of my tatami floor! I miss my futon…I miss our huge kitchen. God, I miss even our automatic washing machine. When I was still living there, I would always look forward to going home from school. Our apartment always beckoned. It’s warm and cozy and simply beautiful…despite being peppered with stuff from Y100 shops.
I miss using my bicycle. In Tokyo, riding the bike is a way of life. It is a way of life that I so dearly miss. I did bring my bicycle to manila but since its arrival, it has been kept in my storage room upstairs. I haven’t been able to use it for fear of being side-swept by a motor vehicle with an unscrupulous driver. I vividly remember boring afternoons that would find me riding my bike around my peaceful and beautiful neighborhood. In a fit of adventurism, I would even bike for nearly three hours, leisurely spanning 20 kilometers in a day. I would do this especially during spring when the sweet and fresh smell of leaves and trees and flowers is permeating the air. Hmmm….I miss my biking days.
I miss salmon. A self-confessed seafood addict, the first thing that I missed when I came home is the cheap slices of salmon in Japan. My God, Yoshinoya there served the cheapest but yummiest salmon steak I have ever tasted in my life. I remember Barno would often request that I cook salmon and shrimp sinigang which she really craved a lot. I would usually indulge her during cold days when I needed something to warm me up inside. But Barno loved cold sinigang. Our perennial dispute was whether to reheat or refrigerate the soup of the sinigang. I loved it hot, she loved it cold. Oh…but those were the good ol’ days.
These really are just of the very few things I took for granted because they had become a way of life for two years. It is only now that I feel so far away from these beautiful things that I realize how special they had been. Then again, I know one day I’ll be able to experience them again.
Japan, I definitely will go back to your arms…if only to temporarily rekindle the embers that have been slightly diminished by time.
Friday, June 09, 2006
i am happy
i don't want to sound sad or morose when i write this. but at this point i am on the verge of ending a relationship. it has been long overdue and i keep on stalling because i badly wanted the relationship to last, no matter what the cost. then again, circumstances have connived and i am on the brink of severing my ties with this man.
we have been together for seven years...seven long tumultuous years. i had been happy, i had been sad, i laughed, i cried....but now the time to end it has come. in so many ways i feel sad; endings always send me bawling over nothing, really.
but i am happy too. happy that i have finally found the courage to let go. i never thought it would be this easy. for seven years my life revolved around him. i am just thankful that god has blessed me with supportive friends.
i really am happier now. i wake up everyday SMILING and thanking god for all the gifts he has given me. literally. i have never been like this before and the joy that i feel inside keeps me from being bitter about everything. i only know that one day everything will fall into place.
i am happy now. for me, that's what matters most.
we have been together for seven years...seven long tumultuous years. i had been happy, i had been sad, i laughed, i cried....but now the time to end it has come. in so many ways i feel sad; endings always send me bawling over nothing, really.
but i am happy too. happy that i have finally found the courage to let go. i never thought it would be this easy. for seven years my life revolved around him. i am just thankful that god has blessed me with supportive friends.
i really am happier now. i wake up everyday SMILING and thanking god for all the gifts he has given me. literally. i have never been like this before and the joy that i feel inside keeps me from being bitter about everything. i only know that one day everything will fall into place.
i am happy now. for me, that's what matters most.
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