do i or i don't?

have you ever reached that point when love becomes a necessity? for example, i am exclusively seeing this person, i like him...but after several months of being together, i still can't get myself to tell him that i love him. and this is all because...well...i don't. i mean, i've been in love several times before and i am supposed to know how it feels to be in love. this time though, it's kind of different. while i used to express how i feel so easily, write about it all the time, and even dream of it day and night, i seem to lack all three this time.

is it time to panic? maybe. but i am restraining myself. maybe i've just gotten older and wiser. as if love did too.

i've been thinking a lot about this relationship lately. this is not my typical 'relationship.' i like being with him, we laugh a lot, we eat a lot...but i also feel like i need to be away from him from time to time. i don't know if this is healthy. all i know is that we treat each other better after taking sometime off from each other. a whole lot better, if i may say.

i don't know if this is something to build a sturdy relationship on, but i do hope i get to have my answer soon. time is running out on me. i have a self-imposed deadline.

ahhh...